Hey all, it’s late at night…

Hey all. It’s late night, back at the hotel after a couple sweet shows at “Good Nights” in Raleigh, N. C. Got “The Blind Side” on in the background. Ashley and I tried to see it when it first came out, but all the theaters were full (full to Ashley means there were no seats except the first 3 rows which gives her “the spins” or something incredibly dangerous). I am not movie cheating on her because she saw “Valentine’s Day” with her brother while the King of her Castle was en route to a show. She knew how important that film was to me since two of my buddies Eric Dane and Bradley Cooper play lovers, and I had several jokes lined up for them..
This is one of my last comedy club appearance’s, but after hanging with the owner Brad Reeder, his crowds and staff, I may do more. My plan was to work the clubs for a year and slowly transfer to Casino’s and small Theater’s. So instead of doing 4 shows I could do one big one and have more time at home. It’s pilot season and I love sleeping in my own bed with my movie cheating wife. AND we’re trying to make a baby so my physical presence is required. The Casino’s I’ve been doing have been great. Well run, built in crowds and I still get to meet and greet the people between shows. Plus, I’ve been to places I didn’t know existed (Lake of The Torches in Wisconsin, Snoqualmie, Washington and even a great one in Dubuque, Iowa).
Next week I’m at The Irvine Improv. A few folks are coming down to see who does my stand up special (my Endgame, I’ve told myself many a nights away from Ashley) but I have a feeling I won’t stop. Just be more selective. It’s too much fun and it’s the only time I get to actually touch, literally, an audience. I can’t explain it, but every show there’s been a moment. Someone from my past or someone who just needs to connect has touched ME and reminded me of who I am, where I come from and how important it is that I keep connecting with people who I have much more in common with than most of the folks I see in Hollywood. I also am well aware that if not for those “Hollywood” folks I wouldn’t have as much to share with the crowds or as many fun Hollywood credits which, honestly, is at least half the reason the crowds have been so plentiful. I honestly think the other half is that I’ve always been honest about my personal life, for better or worse. People have a pretty good idea about what my set covers, they just want to see if I can make it funny, and I have to be funny, but it sure helps when you’re in front of 1500 people who are miraculously rooting for you. I think it’s because they know I’m one of them (they sure do after the show:) and they seem relieved that I’m not mean when I share my crazy but true stories of my past. Mixing gratitude, insanity, failure and optimism is not the typical combo for comedy success but it’s my life. It’s what I do. Which is also why I’m not nor will I ever be one of the “cool kids”. Or be in one of the famous comedy-actor cliques. I’d love to be in the cool crowds, be part of the Apatow, Sandler, Eastwood, Coen, Tarentino, Spielberg, Scorcese, Woody Allen etc’s but my path is to stick my toe into all of the various “gangs” and that’s what works best for me (besides, I don’t have a choice, they’ve already got a fat guy:).
In all honesty, I’ve either worked with or been offered work by most of those guys, and most have gone out of their way to show me random acts of kindness. Sometimes when I’m insecure I think of the guys I’ve given breaks to. I wonder when they are going to return the favor, but I don’t need a favor (not that I wouldn’t want to work with them. Not that I don’t think I would come through for them) and 99% HAVE returned any “favors” I’ve done for them (and by favors I mean hiring them and they, using their own talent, have made me look good, so who did who the favor?:) and when I’m honest with myself, 99% of the people I’ve given a break to have gone on to give breaks to many, many others. They’ve “passed it on” just like someone passed it to me, add that to all the talented, incredibly generous people who still are willing to work with, hire and teach me. A list of friends I wouldn’t trade for anyone’s list of friends (and sure as hell I’m not talking just Show Business). Even when my ego is at it’s biggest I look around and realize, “Tom Arnold is a lucky mother f**ker to even know these amazing human beings”. I knock on wood that anyone would have anything to do with me, especially in Hollywood, but more than my fair share do. In spite of my breaking a cardinal rule of showbiz: There can only be one talented person per marriage. The other is a gold digger.
While I can’t speak for my personal amount of talent I can say with 100% certainty that Ashley is at least as talented as me. Different ways but I wouldn’t be sitting here today, showing up for opportunities. Succeeding in all area’s of my life (of course I’d like more quality Film and TV work and I’d like to be a father, yesterday still…) but she takes care of me and our life, so that I am ready when the opportunities arrive. She has no doubt they will, and I have no doubt I won’t let her down. In the meantime, because of her pushing me, I’m traveling every weekend to parts unknown getting paid to make people I like smile. So I guess she IS a bit of a gold digger, as I once was. She KNEW I’d have whatever it takes to bring home enough gold to live out my innermost dreams. Without her unconditional support, belief and confidence I honestly would’ve been out of gold by now. I didn’t think I had any left to dig, but she was born with a silver shovel in her hand. She also taught me one of life’s greatest secrets. I’ve always been a good digger, but I didn’t realize that the actual digging WAS striking gold if you’re sharing your shovel with someone you really, really dig (sorry, it’s late, I’d say that was a bad pun but I’m not sure what a pun is at this point).
Alrighty then, thanks for listening… ..for you real manly men out there, don’t worry, I haven’t gone all soft and sensitive. I’m still a big crazy Iowa farm kid so in my next blog I’ll go back in time a couple weeks. I will share my visually stunning, eye opening, game changing, blow by blow experience of accidentally depantsing the gorgeous, athletic, Victoria’s Secret, Sports Illustrated Super Model, Marisa Miller on live TV during The Direct TV Celebrity Beach Football Game at this year’s Super Bowl, and how I tried to convince my wife that this was all part of HER mantra of not trying to control the future but instead allowing God’s plan to unfold. God is good. Very good. L, Tom